Sylvia's Story

It’s amazing that after spending several years as a pastor's wife, I had no idea who I was outside of my life in ministry and because of that I found myself struggling with depression, brokenness, and low-esteem. After spending years in silent frustration all the while masking these inner demons, I was forced to reach a verdict when my own marriage was put on trial. In my mind I had become one of them. One of those women who watched the subtle signals of others that if they talked about such deep problems it would be unwelcome. But immediately after that my next thought was, how many other women were struggling with roots of these issues in their lives? When did they start? If I could somehow reach them and children that may be in crisis, would their lives be different? All I know for sure is that what should have been the purpose of my own pain had not yet come into fruition and maybe this was because I didn't have the courage to tell share my story. This realization helped me to hear the gravel of the only person who could judge in my life, and it belonged to God Himself. He had presented the evidence that was clear and compelling, I was no longer happy with just being a wife and mother, this did not mean that I did not love my husband or children but for me it meant I had more to do with my life. So, I talked with God in a heartfelt and unedited prayer, admitting to Him that I wanted to touch the lives of women and children who believed that no one wanted to hear their problems or feel their pain. It was after many months of praying that I felt a rush of emotions which were, thrilling yet terrifying at the same time. Why? Because, I had to tell my story, discuss my truth, and explain my pain. Although this was exhilarating because my prayer had been answered, I still wrestled with the act that in order for my life, my pain, and my struggles to have purpose they had to be released to the world.

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